So yeah I have felt worse the past week than I have in the past like year. My mom is convinced I'm about to have another bout with depression again.. and I might be. I don't know. I think this was a long time coming and not just starting up these past couple of weeks.
I mean first off some of my friends moved away at the beginning of the summer for college which, you know, like everyone has to do what they need to for school. But the few that left at the beginning of summer didnt effect me much.. about half way through July, one of my coworkers and I thought my best friend/non-biological big sis up and quit her job, moved into an unknown apartment, changed her phone number, and no one has any clue where she works (I know she's not like dead because another coworker said they saw her at South a week or so ago..) but yeah. Completely dropped out of my life AND DIDN'T EVEN TELL ME or give me a heads up or a new number or say good-bye or anything! I'm going back and forth from being pissed at her to being so incredibly hurt and I just never really handled that very well..
But then when some of my really close friends left for college once school got around to starting, several of them bolted off to college without a second word. No good-byes or "I'll miss ya!" or hugs or anything!.. (actually most of them did this.. only one person told me bye and gave me a hug and stuff) :[ And being much more recent just to top the cake, my boyfriend left for army basic training like 2 weeks ago, and at that point, most of all this people leaving thing just toppled all over me and I can't handle it anymore. The friends that stayed in Mobile I never see hardly except for like 3 friends. Even some of my friends that go to the same frikkin school, I hardly ever see!
*sigh. sorry for sounding like some emo 10th grader's journal entry (and yes I can bash emo 10h graders because when I was in 9/10th grades I was pretty freaking emo) but I really just couldn't bring this up to anyone because I didnt know how to start (obviously it wouldve been alot to start off talking about). So idk. I had to let it all out, and this seemed to be the best way to do it (besides, I dont think anyone ever reads my deviantart journal.. lol).
Anyways, completely random.. I'm going out tonight with some friends and I'm going to try my best to have a good time.. maybe some hot guy will wanna dance with me or buy me a drink or something HAHAHAHA! lmao. jk..sorta.... lol. But yeah, I'm just gonna dance anyway all this crap (cause I cant drink it all away.. I'm driving... haha. jk again.
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One other off the wall thought.. I just realized this.. But I'm kinda realizing most of the mistakes I've made (that I hadnt already realized before now) in high school... I mean mostly with friends and friends dating people and stuff... Idk I can barely describe it.. I now understand that back in high school when we were pissed at any person for going with their boy rather than us.. and yeah we had a right to be a little peeved, but not pissed off. But a large majority of the time she REALLY REALLY liked the boy and of course, duh, you're gonna want to hang out with the boy you really really like ALOT... and I understand that now because I have someone like that in my life. :] I think a lot of all the stupid drama and everything that made everyone pissed off at everyone else should hopefully make no sense to us in college..
FEEL THE LOVE! <3
I miss you guys
<3
(ps: sorry for this stupid random bipolar mess. lol)
my peeps <3
hurricannneeee. 
Confused
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dA Love
